


Functional Twinception By the Hastings

by Book_Dragoness



Category: She's the Man (2006)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22364770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Book_Dragoness/pseuds/Book_Dragoness
Summary: AU where Duke, Sebastian, Toby, and Andrew help Viola prove Cornwall & Pistonek wrong.Viola is firmly bi, she and Sebastian are thick as thieves, and Duke discovers his own sexual fluidity, and has fun with a drag king Viola. The queer, gender-fuckery we could have gotten but didn't because 2006.
Relationships: Sebastian Hastings/Olivia Lennox, Viola Hastings/Duke Orsino
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	1. The Meeting

Sebastian was pissed, he had to move in on the same day as all the freshmen, dealing with the babies worrying like this year and this day was the make or break for their high school careers. It's his senior year, he was so close to adulthood, his music mattered. Principal Gold was creepy as high hell and his dorm was at the end of the hall, having to weave through too many people with his first load of things.

He walked through the door with his key sliding out of the doorknob to stop yelling mid-videogame stream. Three boys were here, but with only two beds in the room he hoped that the trio didn't make this kinda stuff a habit. He really wanted to record as much as possible this year, where nobody has to give a shit about him, none of them really know each other.

Duke didn't like that he was getting the newbie, but the last soccer captain and his roommate graduated, leaving him to break in someone new in what was supposed to be his year. The guitar and tech bag slung over the guys shoulder didn't warm him up anymore.

"Hey," Duke went to pick up his jersey on his bed, thanking god that he got here yesterday and was able to claim first, and freak out in private over the captain’s band on his new uniform.

"Hey, I'm Sebastian. I guess I'm your roomie." The way he cradled his guitar case before setting it down on the bed was incredibly gentle, more gentle than duke had ever been with an instrument.

With his prized possessions softly set aside, Sebastian stuck out his hand for a shake. Might as well be professional and start the comfortable distance now.

"Duke" his handshake was firm, "this is Andrew and Toby."

"Hey, so I'll be in and out just a bit more, I'll try not to disturb you." Sebastian picked up his keys, trying to remember to put them on his key ring as soon as possible.

"Oh, it's no problem, there's a meeting for last year's soccer team, so we'll be out of your hair real quick," Duke stated, he needed to go soon anyway, even if Dinklage terrified him to his bones.

"Soccer players huh? All you?" Sebastian looked like he had slotted into an old shoe with his tone, it made Duke nervous.

"Yeah, you play?" This guy? Really?

"Oh! No! Not my shtick, but my sister is a hard-core soccer player over at Cornwall."

"Cornwall? They suck!" Andrew opened his big mouth; Duke was the one who had to live with him for most of a year!

"No offense or anything." Toby, his savior, at least a little.

"Oh the guys suck, I won't deny that. Their captain is dating my sister, and he's a couple screws loose in every way." Sebastian sat on the corner of his bed flicking his hand like he didn't really care if what they said of Cornwall, thank god!

"Justin? That crybaby?" Duke couldn't help but reference, he was astounded that Justin was not humiliated about that more. He would have rather died, but maybe he was just less secure about his shortcomings than the loser.

"Yeah, the tool, I don't like him, but she didn't like my ex either so..." with that he got up and started toward the door, "Oh and good luck with practice or whatever, break a leg as they say in show-biz"

"Thanks" Duke mumbled, reaching down for the last place he saw his cleats. He should go too.

"Come on, you guys need to get ready." Duke shook the chair Andrew was sitting on, forcing him out of it.

He grabbed his gym bag and locked the door behind them all, it felt like he was walking towards his doom.

A couple hours away Viola and her team were facing the destruction of their dreams, and dumping frat-boy, misogynists who wanted in her pants and couldn't respect her ambitions.

She needed her brother, so she and her team set out on a mini-road trip.

A couple hours and a productive meeting about tryouts later in the week, Duke came back to find his roommate with a mini recording studio set up against his bed and the wall.

"Woah." the towel he was drying his hair with stopped its shake, like the water would end up ruining the equipment from such a distance.

"Yeah, hope you don't mind, I'm trying to get discovered soon." Sebastian looked up from his laptop.

"I get it, you have a goal." Duke could understand that, they could edge around each other.

"Great," Sebastian grinned and dropped the worry bunching his shoulders, "Oh, and I hope you like cheese pizza, cause I ordered from some place called Cesario's? There was a take-out menu on the nightstand so..."

"Yeah man, its the best place around." Duke almost minded the dude touching his stuff, but it's just his take-out menu afterall.

The knock on the door first opened to Andrew and Toby, wanting to continue the gaming system Duke had. The second was pizza, so when there was a third there was a minute panic that it would be the hallway terror Malcolm.

Duke lost the rock, paper, scissors match and opened the door, expecting to look right into the eyes of a pissy tarantula owner. All he saw was four heads of hair pulled back into ponytails.

"Uh..." Smooth Duke, you idiot. Duke blanked when he saw athletically attractive girls with Cornwall blue gym bags over their shoulders.

"Hi, is this Sebastians room?" The middle brunette asked in a sickly-sweet soprano.

"Viola?" Sebastian swiped under Dukes arm, pushing him back.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had practice, like, all day?" His surprise was mixed with a happiness that left Duke a little jealous, how could he just talk to girls that well? Andrew and Toby inched closer, catching long legs with their eyes.

"I thought I'd help you move in, and find the best places to go out and play your music?" Viola tried.

"uhuh? Why don't you come in."

All four girls proceeded to lounge on Sebastians bed and the surrounding floor.

"So out with it, tell me what's up?"

"They cut our team!" the spice of anger tart on Kia's tongue.

"Who did what now?" Toby asked, trying to get in on the babe action, almost reaching to put his arm around her shoulders. He thought again when Sebastian gave a little head shake with wide eyes.

"Not enough girls signed up for soccer tryouts, let alone a full team, so Cornwall cut us. Scouts wouldn't see us play, we won't get drafted, it's a nightmare."

"So we go to Pistonek, we could tryout for the boys team. Still get scouted and get into university you know?"

"Yeah I can see how that could work out. You guys are so good, and they would be proud to say their students got scholarships and whatnot." Sebastian flicks his hands around, getting into the drama already.

"Except he says that he's not going to let us, that its just biology that guys are better athletes. We should just disappear." Viola almost ends up screaming by the time she's done. Taking a deep breath she continues, "And Justin supported him, so I dumped his misogynistic ass!"

"Okay, I'm not going to say about time, but about time Vi." Sebastian started rubbing her back. So this was the sister Duke had heard about.

"What am I going to do without soccer." Viola started going blank, with a thousand-yard stare, "Mom's going to make me be a debutant, or yak my ear off, or make me do stuff with ruffles and bows and hoop skirts and heels. God! I hate heels."

"Claim heartbreak from Justin and avoid it?" Sebastian shrugged, "It's what I did with Monique for the last bit..."

"Oh ho then do I have news for you." Viola's smile comes in deviously with creepy shiver, "I told her we broke up, and she says I need to fix it because he's so hot. Our middle-aged mother called my ex rugged, chiseled, and handsome. ewugh!"

The shaking creeps that ran through the group was comically in time.

Pizza was offered to drown sorrows and bodies were draped over furniture more diversely as the late afternoon turned to evening and edged towards night. Sebastian linked the footballers together and proceeded to complain about being outnumbered and ganged up on.

A pretty great way to spend time, until Malcolm came calling with a full fisted door wailing. Sebastian nudges Viola, so she moves to the door, leaving Duke to retreat into his chair when he was going to take care of it.

"Yeas?" Viola lilts upwards from the barely opened doorway to a stiffly put together boy. He looked like he was desperately trying to be a man in charge to Viola.

"Excuse me? Who are you? The rules prohibit opposite genders from sleeping in rooms!" Malcolm spat out robotically, Duke felt bad for Viola, she shouldn't have to deal with this.

"I'm sorry, we are just finishing up with our orgy in a bit, but we won't be sleeping here, so we're all good, no rule breaking here, see ya!" Viola tried slamming the door into Malcolm scandalized face. Duke's shock was plenty clear in his dropped jaw, but it dislocated when Malcolm wasn't petrified enough to shove his foot to jam the door.

"That is not a joking matter and will need to be reported, you will be written up and punished, " Malcolm was steaming at this point.

"Good thing us girls don't go here then, we can just take the rest of the night out to the car. Girl on girl is so much better anyway." and with flap of her hand she said goodbye and kicked him in the shin to remove his foot from the door.

"Well He Was A PeAcH." the sarcasm dripped from her tongue, and the confidence, Duke wanted to hide or shove his tongue down her throat.

"Yeah well he'll come back with reinforcements." Andrew got up and started gathering his soccer shit, "I'll see you guy tomorrow for that pick up game?"

"I'll head too, great to meet you guys though" Toby agreed.

"You guys okay with a little competition?" Kia perked up with her eyes sparkling with gleeful plans.

"Yeah we were going to camp out in the Jeep, and I wanna see how good you guys really are." Viola teased, "what do ya say to a preseason Cornwall versus Illyria game?"

"I say bring it on." This Duke could do, he will be the confident, capable captain. He was looking forward to this.

"Fantastic, I'll play cheerleader." Sebastian laughed, "Did you guys remember blankets or anything?"

"Haum, no we didn't..." Jamie scratched her head like she was showing off her biceps.

"Fine... here." Sebastian pulled out a couple blankets from under his bed frame, "I thought I wasn't going to use these for at least a week, what a fool I am. Us twins are truly lost without each other, I must save my dear little sister from her own recklessness..."

"Yeah yeah. When you're done waxing poetic about it we'll be off. At least that weirdo doesn't know Kia's car." Viola took the blankets and shuffled her girls out the door with Andrew and Toby.

"I thought this arrangement would be a lot less fun, but you're alright Seb."

"Thanks I guess? You're not going to be terrible either I guess." Sebastian looked like he was on the verge of spitting something out.

"Well I'm going to turn in so that I can play the sleeping card in case Malcolm comes back, you might want to as well, he's terrible."

"yeah thanks... Viola is bi!" he spit out in a rush.

Duke was shocked that it came out so fast, and his eyebrows rose in confusion.

"Um... Okay? I needed to know that why?" Could someone really come out for someone else? duke wondered, And why did Sebastian feel the need to tell Duke this about his sister?

"You or your friends seemed like you might be interested and that's fine, its not like I control my sister or anything, but... Justin thought it was hot or a phase or whatever and Jamie is another ex of hers and I don't want her to get hurt especially after this soccer disappointment. Mom and Dad have kinda ignored her coming out, and she doesn't come out a lot." Sebastian knew he was rambling, but he needed to draw these lines now in case he got to close to another bi phobic prick.

"If you or your friends are going to be weird about that or going to be assholes I'm going to have to help her bury your bodies, ya know?" He tried to laugh about it.

"Seb, it's fine. So long as she keeps up with us on the field I'll like her. I'll cover for you with the bodies. It's okay" He said the same spiel a year ago when his cousin came out. The one he wanted to give to Olivia when she got cheated on this past summer, the one he couldn't bring himself to stand by with her brother, his friend, and the enabling cheater.

"Well alright then. I know it's not cool to come out for someone, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring it up explicitly?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, we can bring the girls out for breakfast at the waffle house a block from Cesario's."

"Waffles are good."


	2. The Plan

Sleeping in a car is not easy, to achieve the right position seemed impossible for the 5 girls who had packed into a 5 seat car. Once the arguing about blankets and neck support died down, everyone was exhausted and almost silent as they moved their soccer bags to the front seats and pushed down the back ones. The haphazard flop of semi-clothed bodies were rolled in blankets and breathing in heavy rhythm until the morning knocks on the window glass.

Andrew gave them directions to a waffle house, the boys waiting in Toby's care for them to dress and get behind the wheel again. The menu was large and the sugar coatings expansive. Looking like a preschooler's modge podge project in Illyria reds and Cornwall blues, Viola was uplifted a little with her brother's hugs and a squabble over the strawberry sauce like family brunches for so many years.

"So what are you guys gonna do about the soccer team thing?" Duke prodded from his bubble of jam breakfast.

"I don't know. I wish I could do the whole if you can't beat em' join em' but it's the joining that the problem." Viola responded, taking a bigger bite of her taco-folded waffle that she should have.

"All I can think about is how much I want to shove their faces in the dirt. I even heard Justin say you were better!" Kia piped in, dragging the rest of the group between them into the fold.

"Justin what now?" Andrew leaned in spreading his elbows to his neighbour's plates.

"Oh, the other day we were playing a pick up on the beach and I kicked ass thank you very much. Justin was no match, he even said I was better than half the guys on his team. I'm not sure if he really believes that anymore."

"Damn girl, really?" Toby crowed, "Either way he's good to be gone."

"I know right?"

"You could beat his crybaby tantrums in your sleep," Sebastian mumbled around his mouthful of food.

"He really is a sore loser!" Kia chimed, "He can't take criticism well, probably wouldn't take you getting a scholarship well either."

"We'll never know now I guess," Viola said half to the ceiling, letting her words sink into all the girl's stomachs.

"I wish I could get a scholarship." Sebastian mused, "But Illyria isn't exactly a magnet school and I don't work out any more than I need to hold up a guitar. If only we were identical twins."

The light bulb over Viola's head lit up more than the whole restaurant.

"What are you thinking?" Sebastian leaned away wearily.

"I can't join the Cornwall team, but what if I beat them?" Viola looked like she needed fangs with how devilishly wide her grin spread, the cat that was playing with its canary dinner.

"How?" Duke said, jittery with her infectious energy.

"I'll get on the Illyrian team."

"I must repeat Duke's question: How?" Sebastian flailed like there was no sense in the room.

"She'll be you." Jamie jabbed.

"Ooh, yeah. She can dress up as you, try out, get in, kick their butts and prove that Pistonek is wrong to deny us based on our gender."

"Really?" Sebastian threw out like the sarcasm couldn't be contained. Duke could see the sibling resemblance in that word like a DNA test.

"Let's see how you hold up against us Illyrians before you go making plans." Duke used his new captain's voice, it didn't seem to fail him as the girls chorused their agreement and asked for bills.

The day was still empty for move-ins and school spirit events, and the field was feeding the players as much as the waffles.

"We'll take Jamie, let's see how you'll get on the team with us yeah?"  
"Give us your best."  
...  
The game was brutal, everyone pulling out all the tricks and skills they had perfected over years of loving their game.  
"You are good, but could be better," Duke said honestly, feeling a jitter in his gut from giving feedback. Not only was this not his team, but a group of athletic, attractive girls that could gang up on him with no issue.  
"Think you could help me with that enough to get on Illyria's first string for the Cornwall game?" Viola asked  
"Duke could for sure, you'll be a force of nature." Andrew slung his arms over friends, as they all flopped onto the bleachers.  
"You really wanna try this Vi?" Sebastian asks as he pushes the water bottle into her hands and moves back to his pile of sweaters and guitar.  
"Yeah, I really do. Are you okay with that?"  
"Sure, but let's talk details." Seb turned to his lyric book and ripped out a new sheet.  
"What are mom and dad going to know respectively?" He started from the middle of the page.  
"What if you just transfer here too," Jamie suggested, poking at her ankle that was turning grape wine purple.  
"Would that solve it?" Vi questioned, "I mean, I'd be here in classes so wouldn't I have to join a girls team here?"  
"No. No." Sebastian cut in, "that could work. You'd exist as you during the school day, but when there was soccer shit to do or whatever you'd dress up like me and use my name. I'll use the empty dorm room as a recording chance so no one will be there and I won't get interference too."  
"Holy shit! This might just work." Toby whooped, "We'll be like your back up like... A spy mission of something."  
"You guys up for it." Viola's cat grin was back with a cautiously optimistic fire being fed in her eyes.  
"Depends on how dedicated you'll be to my help?" Duke stuck his hand out for a deal-making shake.  
"Like I am to breathing." Her hand smacked into his with a shake.  
"So we need to call... who first? Mom or Dad?" Sebastian continued.  
"Dad first, he won't really care what school I'm going to just that I'm doing okay. Mom might need some convincing."  
"Use some debutant excuse, she'll go down like an anchor."  
"What so I'm doing the debutant thing too now?"  
Duke was suddenly hit with the connection of who these Hastings were. The other divorcee in his mother's community group. Not great friends but solidarity.  
"I'm doing my mom some favours with volunteering as well, so it won't really cut into soccer training and how bad can it really be?" He offered as if it would help.  
"Ruffles, bows, heels. All amounts of terribleness." Kia listed, "And this really toxic idea that you're competing with other women for men's attention. And it's so hard to break those ideas with the older women encouraging it."  
"A headache and a half, and so much judgement about being into sports of any kind."  
"Oh, well... is it worth it to get your mom to sign off on the transfer?" Duke asks again.  
"Yeah, I guess it would be." Viola gives, "okay, hand me my phone. Let's do this and then we can visit Paul."


End file.
